What is a Divorce Recovery Support Group?

As the name suggests, it is a support group for divorcer. The group comprises of many divorcers who get together under the trained guidance of therapists and divorce counsellors to discuss their mutual situations. The group provides support and guidance to divorcers about their newfound life status. The group follows a format of discussion, introspection and frank communication.

Divorcers are encouraged to talk about their personal divorce experiences. A feeling of companionship is created. Divorcers share and give advice to each other. The divorce recovery support group is based on the knowledge that shared information and advice among fellow members have more impact than individual professional intervention. Divorcers get to know where they went wrong and where they are going wrong. The group also acts as a meeting place. Divorcers meet like-minded people and are able to strike friendships.

Objectives

Set Short Term and Long Term Goals: The divorce recovery support group helps a divorcer to devise a new plan for his or her new life. It helps the divorcer to adjust to the new situation. It propels the divorcer to look within and chart new priorities and expectations. These include:

Dealing with Child Custody Issues: The group helps the divorcer to come to terms with reality. It teaches the individual acceptance especially in the case of child custody. The divorcer realizes that he or she should not divorce the child. The child should always form top priority no matter what the situation. The divorcer has to keep in constant touch with the child. The divorcer outlines following guidelines after opening up to members of the recovery group:

Continuous direct communication through physical visits, emails, phones and letters

Conducting a cordial relationship with ex in front of child

Not criticizing or abusing, blaming ex in front of child

Maintaining and following court ordered visitation schedules regularly

Being actively involved in child’s life

Ensuring child knows everything about your new life

Developing Financial Goals: The divorcer has to create new financial targets. These fall into three categories of short-term and immediate targets, medium and long-term goals. The divorcer determines these goals in accordance with importance. He or she has to decide what has to be achieved at once and what can be achieved slowly. The recovery group helps the divorcer realize that the achievement of short-term goals ensures the fulfilment of long-term goals.

Short-term Goals

Setting up individual bank account

Reverting to maiden name on important documents

Changing residence and leasing a house which will have a separate room for the child

Applying for individual credit card

Seeking a change in professional work status

Reducing expenses

Long-term and Medium Goals

Meeting new people and developing/ widening social circle

Dating leading to physically intimate encounters

Remarrying

Getting involved in enjoyable hobbies and interests

Making new investments i.e. purchasing a new house

Investing in bonds and financial schemes to increase personal income

Setting up a child maintenance trust

Physical Changes: The recovery group holds that a divorcer has to let go of emotional baggage before starting a new chapter of life. Getting a physical makeover forms a big part of this initiative. The support group forces a divorcer to quit depression and regain self-esteem. Usually, groups of divorcers visit a parlour and get a makeover done at the same time. This increases the communal feeling of not being alone. It also allows the divorcer to share private marital information in a non-structured environment.

The logic is that a physical change helps the divorcer to regain his or her self-belief and confidence. Adjustment on an emotional and cognitive level can only come if the individual feels confident about physical self.

Online Divorce Recovery Groups: Nowadays online divorce recovery groups are making headway. These groups do not focus on a single area. They deal with divorcers during and after divorce. They provide online lectures on life post-divorce. The online classes also help divorcers to be informed about divorce law and amendments.

Usually, divorcers and individuals intending to get divorced, divorce counsellors and therapists form part of the group. Online recovery groups afford privacy and convenience. It often happens that divorcers or couples trying to file papers feel embarrassed about face-to-face contact. It could also be that some divorcers feel ashamed to talk about personal feelings and thoughts in front of other people. Online groups step in allowing the individual to heal oneself privately.

The group provides information about legal procedures and documents. It also garners support for populous issues of child custody and spousal maintenance.

By: James Walsh

About the Author:

Debt Consolidation

Texas Divorce Records are considered public records in all states although there may be variations in the way they are governed and treated from one state to another. To search divorce records in any of the states, there are basically two options: government or private. Government sources are generally thought to be Free Texas Divorce Records, albeit largely the contrary in Texas while higher expectations are placed upon private ones. Either will work and is a matter of individual preference or situation.

Texas Divorce Records is placed under the Texas Department of State Health Services. Along with Marriage, Birth and Death records, Divorce Records Texas are available through their Vital Statistics Unit and are sectioned under the Report of Divorce Index. They can be downloaded free of charge from the department website and are available to the public. Conditions and procedures apply. About a hundred thousand Texas Divorces since 1968 are on file but the office only issues their Letters of Verification.

A Divorce Letter of Verification from the Vital Statistics Office only states whether or not a divorce was issued in the state of Texas. It contains the names of the divorcing parties, the county where the divorce was granted and the court case number. Fees are $20.00 for a letter. They are considered searching charges and hence not refundable or transferable to another record whether or not a search yields any results. However if a search results in a ‘no record found’, it can be used as proof of single-status (marital). Verification letters are available to divorces that occurred from 1968 to the last day of the year preceding the current one.

Reports of Divorce Indexes were not filed with the State offices until 1968 so Texas Divorce Records before that would have to be obtained from the office of the District Clerk at the county where the divorce happened. Likewise, certified copies of major divorce documents such as Divorce Certificates and Divorce Decrees are only obtainable directly from the office of the specific county of origin.

Texans are a special lot. The reasons behind their search for Texas Divorce Records are varied and flowery. There are also Texans who have resided in multiple states or county prior to Texas. As such, the complete divorce records of these folks will cut across state borders and the various state public record databases are not linked. As a result, employing government agencies for multiple-state divorce record searches becomes unfeasible. That’s why private record providers are the preferred option for Texas Divorce Records Search especially when time and personal bandwidth are a constraint. Their databases typically cover all states.

Commercial record providers are a great relief for a small fee and there are plenty to expect and choose from. Online Divorce Records search is the most popular and not without reasons. It’s convenient, instant and competitively priced but scams abound so shop around a little before committing any fees. Good information and tips are readily found free of charge at review and other promotional sites. These guys know their business and their recommendations are rarely off the mark.

By: Ben Dave

About the Author:

Acai Berry

Introduction

Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. Divorce existed in antiquity, dating at least back to ancient Mesopotamia and was granted only because one party to the marriage had violated a sacred vow to the “innocent spouse. Divorce before the 1920’s was based on the husband not providing ‘life’ necessities’ for his child and wife.

Often, however, the spouses disagree about the terms of the divorce, which can lead to stressful and expensive litigation. Divorce mediation is an alternative to traditional divorce litigation. Divorce mediation can be significantly less expensive than litigation.

Divorce

Less adversarial approaches to divorce settlements have recently emerged, such as mediation and collaborative divorce, which negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts.

No Fault Divorce

Under a no-fault divorce system the dissolution of a marriage does not require an allegation or proof of fault of either party to be shown. Common reasons for no-fault divorce include: incompatibility, irreconcilable differences, and irremediable breakdown of the marriage. Forty-nine of the United States have adopted no-fault divorce laws. Fault divorces used to be the only way to break a marriage, and people who had differences only had the option to separate (and were prevented from legally remarrying). Fault divorce can affect the distribution of property, and will allow an immediate divorce, in states where there is a waiting period required for no-fault divorce.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is becoming a popular method for divorcing couples to come to agreement on divorce issues. In a collaborative divorce, the parties negotiate an agreed resolution with the assistance of attorneys who are trained in the collaborative divorce process and in mediation, and often with the assistance of a neutral financial specialist and/or divorce coach(es). Once the collaborative divorce starts, the lawyers are disqualified from representing the parties in a contested legal proceeding, should the collaborative law process end prematurely. Most attorneys who practice collaborative divorce claim that it can be substantially less expensive than other divorce methods (regular divorce or mediation). Furthermore, there are no set enforceable timelines for completion of a divorce using collabrative divorce.

Divorce Mediation

In a divorce mediation session, a mediator facilitates the discussion between the husband and wife by assisting with communication and providing information and suggestions to help resolve differences. At the end of the mediation process, the separating parties have typically developed a tailored divorce agreement that can be submitted to the court. The terms of the divorce are also determined by the court, though they may take into account prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses have agreed on privately.

Other Considerations

In their detailed analysis of divorce rates, Kuhn and Guidubaldi conclude that acceptance of joint physical custody may reduce divorce. There are significant emotional, financial, medical and psychological implications of divorce. A defense is expensive, and not usually practical as eventually most divorces are granted. It is estimated that upwards of 95% of divorces in the US are “uncontested,” because the two parties are able to come to an agreement (either with or without lawyers/mediators/collaborative counsel) about the property, children and support issues. When the parties can agree and present the court with a fair and equitable agreement, approval of the divorce is almost guaranteed.

By: Trevor Kassulke

About the Author:

Books for Children

Going through a divorce proceeding is usually an agonising experience for a couple, and even for the person who has filed it. This emotional pain is prolonged most of the times due to a lengthy Divorce process. Quickie divorces, as the name suggests, is a fast way of getting a divorce so that you can carry on with your life.

The Process Involved

There are two kinds of divorce proceedings: contested and uncontested. A contested divorce involves a lot of complications with the couple finding difficulty in reaching common terms. It might take years to settle these kinds of divorce proceedings. In the second type, the decision to divorce and the conditions surrounding it are not challenged by the spouse. Quickie divorces are possible only in the case of an uncontested divorce.

When a person files for divorce in the court of law, the court serves the petition to the spouse. When the divorce is uncontested, the judge takes a look at the grounds for divorce, financial arrangement between the couple and information pertaining to the child custody. If the judge is contented with all the legal papers and arrangements, he grants ‘the Decree Nisi’. After six weeks and one day of receiving this, the couple can apply for ‘The Decree Absolute’, which is the final stage of dissolution of the marriage.

Although in some cases, like the one of Gary Lineker mentioned above where a quickie divorce is granted within seconds, it normally would take at least two months for a quickie divorce to come through.

Facilitating a Quickie Divorce

Here are a few things that need to be remembered while trying for a quickie divorce. These will help you avoid common mistakes while applying for a divorce which would otherwise lengthen the process.

Proactive: The couple needs to be proactive and draw up a prenuptial agreement even before the marriage. These will help them reach an amicable solution at the earliest in the case of a divorce.

Grounds for Divorce: While stating the reason for a divorce, do not go into details and sound very offensive towards your spouse. This might pave the way for contested divorce and might cause delay.

Settlement: Reach a reasonable settlement and make it final. Any change in the same after the judge has reviewed them, would make the process time-consuming. The same applies to the case of child custody also.

Avoiding Mistakes: Get professional help while filling out the forms correctly. After you have submitted the papers in the court, if mistakes are found, you would be required to start all over again.

There have been cases where the court has provided quickie divorce to people suffering from fatal illness, so that they could marry the person whom they wish to, before their death.

Pros and Cons

Quickie divorce has both positives and negatives owing to which it is welcomed by some and criticised by others. Following is an analysis of the pros and cons of having a quickie divorce:

Pros

Here are some of the advantages of having a Quickie divorce:

It helps in providing a faster relief from the pain owing to divorce and helps the couple move on with their lives.

It saves a lot of time which otherwise could be a hindrance to your professional lives.

If not for quickie divorce, the uncertainty of the proceedings would also cause stress upon everyone including the children.

Cons

There are a lot of people who oppose the idea of a quickie divorce due to one or more of the following reasons:

Speeding up the process of divorce lessens the probability of reconciliation between the couple.

A couple might apply and get a divorce in a fit of rage. The reduced time and effort might make people opt for divorce instead of making efforts to work the differences out.

Quickie divorce can prove useful to a couple whose marriage has broken down irrevocably. Getting it done online would further simplify the process. However, making this decision while in a confusion can only make them regret their decision in the future. But, ultimately, it is up to the couple to choose wisely and live happily.

By: Jamie Wallis

About the Author:

Get Good Credit

This past year my wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary. It is the second marriage for both of us and the relationship has only grown stronger over the years, teaching me more about love and trust and dependence then I ever imagined. Reaching this special “silver moment” spurred me to look around and think about the number of friends we have who also have great second marriages and led me to question the alleged statistic that 60+% of second marriages end in divorce. I also thought about how many friends we have who are still in their original marriages and appear to be very happy. Thus, I decided it was time to do some research on divorce rates.

In the process of preparing for this article, I learned what I had long suspected. The commonly quoted numbers are overstated myths, the more accurate numbers reflect complex factors, and that our society really has two very separate divorce rates, a lower rate (by half) for college-educated women who marry after the age of 25 and a much higher rate for poor, primarily minority women who marry before the age of 25 and do not have a college degree (most of the research focused on women; the little I read about men suggested similar outcomes).

The Statistics:

A false conclusion in the 1970s that half of all first marriages ended in divorce was based on the simple but completely wrong analysis of the marriage and divorce rates per 1000 people in the U.S. A similar abuse of statistical analysis led to the conclusion that 60% of all second marriages ended in divorce. These errors have had a profound impact on attitudes about marriage in our society and it is a terrible injustice that there wasn’t more of an effort to get accurate data (essentially only obtainable by following a significant number of couples over time and measure the outcomes) or that newer, more accurate and optimistic data isn’t being heavily reported in the media.

It is now clear that the divorce rate in first marriages probably peaked at about 40% for first marriages around 1980 and has been declining since to about 30% in the early 2000s. This is a dramatic difference. Rather than view marriage as a 50-50 shot in the dark it can be viewed as a having 70% likelihood of succeeding. But even to use that kind of generalization, i.e., one simple statistic for all marriages, grossly distorts what is actually going on.

The key is that the research shows that starting in the 1980s education, specifically a college degree for women, began to create a substantial divergence in marital outcomes, with the divorce rate for college-educated women dropping to about 20%, half the rate for non-college-educated women. Even this is more complex, since the non-college educated women marry younger and are poorer than their college grad peers. These two factors, age at marriage and income level, have strong relationships to divorce rates; the older the partners and the higher the income, the more likely the couple stays married. Obviously, getting a college degree is reflected in both these factors.

Thus, we reach an even more dramatic conclusion: That for college educated women who marry after the age of 25 and have established an independent source of income, the divorce rate is only 20%!

Of course, this has its flip side, that the women who marry younger and divorce more frequently are predominately Black and Hispanic women from poorer environments. The highest divorce rate, exceeding 50%, is for Black women in high poverty areas. These women clearly face extraordinary challenges and society would do well to find ways to reduce not just teen pregnancies but early marriages among the poor and develop programs that train and educate the poor, which will not only delay marriage but provide the educational and financial foundation that is required to increase the probability of a marriage being successful. Early marriage, early pregnancy, early divorce is a cycle of broken families that contributes significantly to maintaining poverty. The cost to our society is enormous.

Here is some additional data about divorce in first marriages before moving on to the limited data available about second marriages. Divorce rates are cumulative statistics, i.e., they don’t occur at a single moment in time but add up over the years of marriage and do so at different rates. After reviewing numerous sources, it appears that about 10% of all marriages end in divorce during the first five years and another 10% by the tenth year. Thus, half of all divorces are within the first ten years. (Keep in mind this is mixing the disparate college-non-college group rates.) The 30% divorce rate is not reached until the 18th year of marriage and the 40% rate is not reached until the 50th year of marriage! Thus, not only is the rate of divorce much lower than previously thought but at least half of all divorces occur within the first ten years and then the rate of divorce slows dramatically. Since the divorce rate for women married by 18 is 48% in the first ten years and that group, once again, is primarily poor, minority women, the rate for educated couples is much less during those first ten years.

No wonder the divorce rate in Massachusetts is the lowest in the country. We have the highest percentage of college graduates. That explains why I have so many first marriage friends!

Finding meaningful data about the divorce rates for second marriages was difficult. But knowing that the rate for first marriages has been grossly overstated and poorly understood for decades suggested a likely similar outcome for the data on second marriages. One report indicated that the divorce rate for remarried, white women is 15% after three years and 25% after five years. This ongoing study indicated a definite slowing of the rate over time but did not have enough years measured to draw more long-term conclusions. However, it did indicate that the same factors with first divorces were at play here. Age, education, and income levels were also highly correlated with the outcomes of second marriages. For example, women who remarried before the age of 25 had a very high divorce rate of 47%, while women who remarried over the age of 25 only had a divorce rate of 34%. The latter is actually about the same for first marriages and likely also would prove to be an average of different rates based socioeconomic factors. Thus, my take on this limited amount of data is that divorce rates for second marriages may not be very different than those for first marriages. So my small sample of friends, who remarried older, had college degrees, and joint incomes, is probably not a distorted view of the success rate of second marriages.

Cohabitation:

In the course of gathering information about divorce rates, I came across a few articles describing the growing frequency of couples choosing cohabitation over marriage. I don’t have any figures that I consider accurate enough to report on the percentage of cohabitating couples but a July 24, 2007 Boston Globe article on cohabitating parents sheds some light and raises some serious concerns about this trend.

I must admit a bias here. From my professional experience, I believe cohabitating couples are afraid of the commitment that marriage requires. Certainly a piece of this is what I stated at the beginning of this article, that the myth of the divorce rate has placed a dark cloud over the institution of marriage. The reason for my concern is the following data reported in the Globe article. There is a marked increase in births to cohabitating couples, up from 29% in the early 1980s to 53% in the late 1990s. When you compare what has happened to those relationships when the child is two years old, 30% of the cohabitating couples are no longer together while only 6% of the married couples are divorced. This is another serious societal problem as it contributes to the U.S. having the lowest rate of all Western countries, 63%, of children being raised by both biological parents.

In addition, the general data suggests that cohabitating couples break up at twice the rate of married couples. Of course, this kind of simple statistic hides many complex factors with regard to who actually constitutes the population of cohabitating couples and the likelihood that many choose to live together with no real intention of permanence. However, my main point here is the concern that many couples may be choosing cohabitation over marriage because they actually believe that the institution of marriage is unhealthy and too risky, a conclusion that my review of divorce rates strongly disputes.

Conclusion:

The historical belief that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and that over 60% of all second marriages end in divorce appears to be grossly overstated myths. Not only is the general divorce rate most likely to have never exceeded 40% but the current rate is probably closer to 30%. A closer look at even these lower rates indicate that there are really two separate groups with very different rates: a woman who is over 25, has a college degree, and an independent income have only a 20% probability of her marriage ending in divorce; a woman who marries younger than 25, without a college degree and lacking an independent income has a 40% probability of her marriage ending in divorce.

Thus, factors of age, education, and income appear to play a significant role in influencing the outcome of marriages and that for the older, more educated woman, getting married is not a crap shoot but, in fact, it is highly likely to produce a stable, lifelong relationship.

By: Kalman Heller

About the Author:

Get a Mortgage

If you are thinking of divorcing your mate, I pray my thoughts will help you reconsider your decision. I believe that most troubled marriages don’t have to end in divorce.

I have been married for almost 48 years. Many times, though the years, I thought of divorcing my husband. I am so thankful I choose to stick to my marriage and to make things work.

Why am I thankful I stayed married to my husband and kept my family together?

1. My husband and I are happy today. I’m so glad we didn’t quite the times we were unhappy. We have had to learn to live with things we didn’t like about each other. We have had to learn to forgive and love, anyway. We have had to find ways to try to keep each other happy. We have even gone for counseling. The times I was hurting the most, I had to ask God to help me love him. One good thing we had was we could communicate with each other even though we didn’t always agree but we did learn to talk things over. Thankfully we were committed to our marriage.

Keeping a marriage together is not an easy task, with each mate being different and having different needs, but if you both really want your marriage to work you will find a way, if you are committed.

2. My family is still a complete unit. We are the same Mom and Dad to our kids. Because of this, our children are more stable than many of the kids of our friends and family members who chose to divorce.

Why do our kids seem more stable than many others whose families divorced?

a. They grew up in a two-parent home. The most important thing, for a child, is to have its own mother and father. They will never be as happy in another situation.

As parents, we are responsible to give our kids the best life possible. Divorce can cause negative experiences they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. If we are not good parents we need to become good parents.

Selfishness is the most common reason for divorce. When we only think of ourselves grave consequences follow. We must become selfless. We must develop the attributes of a loving, giving, considerate and selfless person if we want our marriages to work and our families to stay together.

If you are able to do this you will bless your own life. Your greatest personal happiness will come from your own happy family.

b. They did not have to go from parent to parent, according to how much time the court determined should be spent with each parent.

This is how many children today live. Shuffled from parent to parent. You need to find a way to get along with your mate. Sometimes you are the only one doing all the giving but often that’s just how it is because you are doing it for the future happiness of your kids and your family. Of course there are limits. Some behaviors should not be accepted but endurance is often what is necessary. Often you must wait on God to answer your prayers and teach you the things you both need to learn on how to create a happy family and how to love.

c. They did not have to live through the disagreements and arguments associated with divorcing. I am so thankful my kids didn’t have to experience this.

When we get married and have children we have the responsibility to do all we can to give our kids the happiest life possible. Through divorce I see kids taking on the pains of parents who hate each other and they use their kids as skate goats. Why should any child have to live through war as their parent’s battle it out? If you are doing this you need to fix it. If you live with a contentious person you do not have to respond in a contentious manner. It takes two to fight. You must look at yourself and determine how you are contributing to the war and stop your part in it. Ask God to show you how. Learn to keep your mouth shut or walk away. Learn to talk to God about your hurts and ask for His help. I had to learn this.

d. They didn’t have to adjust to new stepparents or new

stepsiblings. Learning to get along with their own brothers and sisters, in their own family was hard and learning to be obedient to us as parents was hard. My children did learn this.

I have seen so much pain in kids whose parents divorced and brought in new mates and stepchildren who didn’t care for the kids and were often bad people.

e. I believe my children were kept safer. They were under my roof, where I could protect them. If they had to share their life with their father and another wife I would never have know how they were being treated.

I have often seen the new partner resent the kids and treat them badly.

f. They did not have to live in a single parent household. I’m thankful my kids didn’t have to go through that experience and I didn’t have to go through it either.

I see mothers struggle to work full time and care for their families, by themselves. In reality there just isn’t enough time to do both as well as you can do if you have a mate.

g. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. If my husband and I had parted I would have had to work. I’m thankful I could be there when they came home from school.

So many children come home to an empty house.

How is my personal life better because I stayed in my Marriage?

I’m proud of myself. I’m so thankful that with The Lords Help I did all I could to make my marriage work. I love being married. I have peace in my life that so many others don’t have. I’m thankful that I love my husband today. I’m thankful we have had time to get to know each other, to mellow and to learn about life so our love could grow.

As I look at others who divorced, I recognize that many left their marriages too soon, before they had time to make their relationship work.

I’m grateful to have a companion today. Many divorced people are alone. When you divorce and remarry you take on a whole set of new problems. You may think your life will be better but often you are jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Life ends up worse, not better. I know there are second marriages and families that do work out but often their second attempt does not solve all their problems. The saddest part of a divorce is that often those who divorce wish they could have their old life back, but it is too late.

I have had a more comfortable life than some of my friends who divorced. Thankfully we still have what we have accumulated together. I’m thankful we were able to provide a better life for our children.

Often finances are the greatest problem in divorced homes.

The divorce forces them to split everything they have and pay a lot of what they have to the Attorney’s.

Please consider the above facts before you choose to divorce.

I am thankful for the times that I stayed with my husband for the sake of the kids. I didn’t want to hurt them. I knew that their needs were more important than mine. It would have been easy for me to walk away but I put my kids first. I remember thinking, “I will leave my husband when the kids grew up,” but when that time came, I had learned to love him more and I didn’t want to leave.

I believe the reason my husband and I have stayed married is because we wanted to stay married. Thankfully we were willing to endure hard times and stay committed in spite of mistakes made by the each of us. We also were aware that we could not expect perfection from the other if we were not perfect ourselves. I especially found that serving my husband was the best way to make things work, even when he didn’t deserve my service. As the years have gone by, he has learned to appreciate me and thank me for my faithfulness, kindness and caring. I have also learned to accept and appreciate him and be aware of the good in him, which I was unable to see when we were younger. We are very happy today and I’m so thankful I didn’t give up before we got to this point. It can take years to get to this point but better late than never and you can give up so much if you quit too soon.

I’m so grateful that when we have family get togethers they have only one Mom and one Dad and I’m so thankful my husband doesn’t have another wife and I don’t have another husband. I can only imagine how messed up things could be.

You may be thinking that your life has been harder than mine and that you have more reasons to divorce than I did. This may be so but I have been through extremely hard times, too. I have endured and survived some of the same things that have caused others to divorce. Through those hard times I have learned and grown and my marriage has become stronger. Sometimes hard times are given to us for that reason so we can truly discover who we are and what we are made of. Also to help us to get to know who our mates really are.

I don’t think God ever planned for life to be easy. I think he intended us to experience trials to prove ourselves to Him and to help us reach our potential. Some of our greatest trials have been the ones we have gained the most growth from.

I encourage any of you who are thinking of divorce to consider the things that I have said. I know that God will help. Some times you are totally on your own in your marriage but He will make up for the things you don’t have in another way, as you wait for things to get better. In the end, if you are faithful, He will bless you.

I also believe that God will help any two people find happiness if they have Christ as the center of their marriage and if they choose to care for their mates and their children more than their own happiness.

I believe God wants families to stay together. Raising a family takes two, the father and the mother. If you both strive to please one another you will become “ONE” as The Lord Intended. I’m sure God intended FAMILIES TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

I am very thankful I stayed married and my family is still a complete unit.

I have been married for almost 48 years. Many times, though the years, I thought of divorcing my husband. I am so thankful I choose to stick to my marriage and to make things work.

Why am I thankful I stayed married to my husband and kept my family together?

1. My husband and I are happy today. I’m so glad we didn’t quite the times we were unhappy. We have had to learn to live with things we didn’t like about each other. We have had to learn to forgive and love, anyway. We have had to find ways to try to keep each other happy. We have even gone for counseling. The times I was hurting the most, I had to ask God to help me love him. One good thing we had was we could communicate with each other even though we didn’t always agree but we did learn to talk things over. Thankfully we were committed to our marriage.

Keeping a marriage together is not an easy task, with each mate being different and having different needs, but if you both really want your marriage to work you will find a way, if you are committed.

2. My family is still a complete unit. We are the same Mom and Dad to our kids. Because of this, our children are more stable than many of the kids of our friends and family members who chose to divorce.

Why do our kids seem more stable than many others whose families divorced?

a. They grew up in a two-parent home. The most important thing, for a child, is to have its own mother and father. They will never be as happy in another situation.

As parents, we are responsible to give our kids the best life possible. Divorce can cause negative experiences they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. If we are not good parents we need to become good parents.

Selfishness is the most common reason for divorce. When we only think of ourselves grave consequences follow. We must become selfless. We must develop the attributes of a loving, giving, considerate and selfless person if we want our marriages to work and our families to stay together.

If you are able to do this you will bless your own life. Your greatest personal happiness will come from your own happy family.

b. They did not have to go from parent to parent, according to how much time the court determined should be spent with each parent.

This is how many children today live. Shuffled from parent to parent. You need to find a way to get along with your mate. Sometimes you are the only one doing all the giving but often that’s just how it is because you are doing it for the future happiness of your kids and your family. Of course there are limits. Some behaviors should not be accepted but endurance is often what is necessary. Often you must wait on God to answer your prayers and teach you the things you both need to learn on how to create a happy family and how to love.

c. They did not have to live through the disagreements and arguments associated with divorcing. I am so thankful my kids didn’t have to experience this.

When we get married and have children we have the responsibility to do all we can to give our kids the happiest life possible. Through divorce I see kids taking on the pains of parents who hate each other and they use their kids as skate goats. Why should any child have to live through war as their parent’s battle it out? If you are doing this you need to fix it. If you live with a contentious person you do not have to respond in a contentious manner. It takes two to fight. You must look at yourself and determine how you are contributing to the war and stop your part in it. Ask God to show you how. Learn to keep your mouth shut or walk away. Learn to talk to God about your hurts and ask for His help. I had to learn this.

d. They didn’t have to adjust to new stepparents or new

stepsiblings. Learning to get along with their own brothers and sisters, in their own family was hard and learning to be obedient to us as parents was hard. My children did learn this.

I have seen so much pain in kids whose parents divorced and brought in new mates and stepchildren who didn’t care for the kids and were often bad people.

e. I believe my children were kept safer. They were under my roof, where I could protect them. If they had to share their life with their father and another wife I would never have know how they were being treated.

I have often seen the new partner resent the kids and treat them badly.

f. They did not have to live in a single parent household. I’m thankful my kids didn’t have to go through that experience and I didn’t have to go through it either.

I see mothers struggle to work full time and care for their families, by themselves. In reality there just isn’t enough time to do both as well as you can do if you have a mate.

g. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. If my husband and I had parted I would have had to work. I’m thankful I could be there when they came home from school.

So many children come home to an empty house.

How is my personal life better because I stayed in my Marriage?

I’m proud of myself. I’m so thankful that with The Lords Help I did all I could to make my marriage work. I love being married. I have peace in my life that so many others don’t have. I’m thankful that I love my husband today. I’m thankful we have had time to get to know each other, to mellow and to learn about life so our love could grow.

As I look at others who divorced, I recognize that many left their marriages too soon, before they had time to make their relationship work.

I’m grateful to have a companion today. Many divorced people are alone. When you divorce and remarry you take on a whole set of new problems. You may think your life will be better but often you are jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Life ends up worse, not better. I know there are second marriages and families that do work out but often their second attempt does not solve all their problems. The saddest part of a divorce is that often those who divorce wish they could have their old life back, but it is too late.

I have had a more comfortable life than some of my friends who divorced. Thankfully we still have what we have accumulated together. I’m thankful we were able to provide a better life for our children.

Often finances are the greatest problem in divorced homes.

The divorce forces them to split everything they have and pay a lot of what they have to the Attorney’s.

Please consider the above facts before you choose to divorce.

I am thankful for the times that I stayed with my husband for the sake of the kids. I didn’t want to hurt them. I knew that their needs were more important than mine. It would have been easy for me to walk away but I put my kids first. I remember thinking, “I will leave my husband when the kids grew up,” but when that time came, I had learned to love him more and I didn’t want to leave.

I believe the reason my husband and I have stayed married is because we wanted to stay married. Thankfully we were willing to endure hard times and stay committed in spite of mistakes made by the each of us. We also were aware that we could not expect perfection from the other if we were not perfect ourselves. I especially found that serving my husband was the best way to make things work, even when he didn’t deserve my service. As the years have gone by, he has learned to appreciate me and thank me for my faithfulness, kindness and caring. I have also learned to accept and appreciate him and be aware of the good in him, which I was unable to see when we were younger. We are very happy today and I’m so thankful I didn’t give up before we got to this point. It can take years to get to this point but better late than never and you can give up so much if you quit too soon.

I’m so grateful that when we have family get togethers they have only one Mom and one Dad and I’m so thankful my husband doesn’t have another wife and I don’t have another husband. I can only imagine how messed up things could be.

You may be thinking that your life has been harder than mine and that you have more reasons to divorce than I did. This may be so but I have been through extremely hard times, too. I have endured and survived some of the same things that have caused others to divorce. Through those hard times I have learned and grown and my marriage has become stronger. Sometimes hard times are given to us for that reason so we can truly discover who we are and what we are made of. Also to help us to get to know who our mates really are.

I don’t think God ever planned for life to be easy. I think he intended us to experience trials to prove ourselves to Him and to help us reach our potential. Some of our greatest trials have been the ones we have gained the most growth from.

I encourage any of you who are thinking of divorce to consider the things that I have said. I know that God will help. Some times you are totally on your own in your marriage but He will make up for the things you don’t have in another way, as you wait for things to get better. In the end, if you are faithful, He will bless you.

I also believe that God will help any two people find happiness if they have Christ as the center of their marriage and if they choose to care for their mates and their children more than their own happiness.

I believe God wants families to stay together. Raising a family takes two, the father and the mother. If you both strive to please one another you will become “ONE” as The Lord Intended. I’m sure God intended FAMILIES TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

I am very thankful I stayed married and my family is still a complete unit.

By: Eva Fry

About the Author:

Gifts for Toddlers

Clients often ask if a Florida “Easy Divorce” is attainable. Of course it is - whenever both husband and wife can agree to make the process work. A Florida “Easy Divorce” will not be possible if one of the parties wants to make things difficult. Just like every other state, Florida has mandatory rules that have to be met in order to be awarded a divorce. There is just no getting around this.

It can be asked, how might one of the spouses obstruct the Florida “Easy Divorce”? By contesting matters which need to be consented to, including divorce grounds, or in contesting matters including (a) how the property will be divided, (b) how the children’s residence will be decided & when each parent will have parenting time, or (c) how much child support should be remitted under the law.

Each and every issue that is required to be addressed to obtain the Florida divorce could be contested. And so, if either party would like to to delay or prevent an “Easy Divorce”, that is very possible.

Conversely, every family law matter can be resolved by an agreement. When both you and your spouse can agree to a Florida divorce, you must amicably agree on all of the outstanding issues and then the parties can enter into a Florida “Easy Divorce”. And so, the first topic that you need to resolve ought to be whether each of the parties will actually work out the issues in order to obtain a Florida “Easy Divorce”.

After both parties have agreed that you would like to obtain a Florida “Easy Divorce”, the two of you should figure out the best way to get the required court documents finished, served and filed. One common way to accomplish this is to retain a single lawyer to represent both parties and to finish the court documents. Some individuals are not comfortable working with just one attorney and prefer to have independent advise from their own attorney. But, it is also common to engage two attorneys and to direct one attorney to prepare all of the Florida divorce court documents that are necessary, then have the other attorney review the divorce documents.

Another way to acquire a Florida “Easy Divorce” is to agree to use one of the online divorce or separation forms services to obtain all of the papers that are necessary. You may locate an online divorce or separation forms service from one of the many that are available today. When you employ such a divorce service, you can rest assured that you will be obtaining the divorce documents that are pertinent to the state of Florida.

If you and your spouse want to use an online divorce or separation forms service to take care of your Florida “Easy Divorce”, you have your choice of hiring a service provider from three different type of services that are available. One type of online divorce or separation forms service will send you the blank forms for a Florida divorce. All of these blank forms arrive accompanied by instructions on how to complete them with the proper information, however, you will have to complete them on your own.

An alternative type of service is an online divorce or separation forms “complete form preparation” service. This kind of service will ask that you or your spouse fill out a questionnaire concerning your marriage. Then, this kind of online divorce or separation forms service would actually complete all of the necessary Florida divorce forms for you and return them to you with instructions on how you should go about filing all of the divorce documents. The third type of online divorce or separation forms service is a “complete” service provider and usually this type of service is provided by law firms. This category of online divorce or separation forms service will have you complete questionnaires, complete the necessary forms for your matter, get all of the necessary signatures from both parties, and then file the legal papers that are required by law. This type of divorce service is usually more expensive than the other types because you or your spouse must actually pay all of the mandated state filing fees to this service. When using the other two types of online divorce or separation forms services, you or your spouse must pay all of the filing fees directly to the court because you submit all of your own forms.

By: Jean Mahserjian

About the Author:

Affiliate Marketing

If you want to avail a divorce solicitor from Milton Keynes, then it would be a very complex task for you. If you are in urgent requisite of a divorce solicitor Milton Keynes, then you must approach Breakthrough. There are several skilled and proficient divorce solicitors Milton Keynes operating at the Breakthrough. These solicitors would definitely bestow you with professional suggestions that you always require. It is extremely important to have a correct divorce solicitor because you have to secure your future despite of having a breakup with your previous partner. The divorce solicitor Milton Keynes from Breakthrough would help you a lot throughout by bestowing you the right financial implications as well as your emotional insinuations.

It is true that when you are breaking up with your partner, you would have to face a lot of emotional tribulations that would distress you up. However, the approach of the divorce solicitor Milton Keynes from Breakthrough is such that you would not have to bother much in order to deal with the situation. The divorce solicitor Milton Keynes of Breakthrough is excessively skilled to ease your pains during the situation. The divorce solicitor Milton Keynes would also try hard that both the parties share an open dialogue with each other in order to spare a space for negotiation.  

It would be a more difficult situation for you, if your kids are also involved in your divorce case. The divorce solicitor Milton Keynes would help you to deal with this situation as well. The divorce solicitor from Milton Keynes is an expert in dealing with not only the legal procedures but also they provide an emotional support to their clients. They would definitely try to provide you the most excellent legal advices, which would help you to deal with the state of affairs. Disputes regarding the custody of children are very appositely handled by the divorce solicitor from Milton Keynes. The issues related with the visiting rights of the parents could be solved easily with the help of the skilled and expert divorce solicitor from Milton Keynes. The divorce solicitors from Milton Keynes are extremely proficient in solving the cases related with family breakdowns.

The divorce solicitors from Milton Keynes are thorough professionals in their particular sphere. They not only guide you on the professional level, but also render you support on personal level. The emotional support availed from these professional divorce solicitors encourages you to be firm on your decisions and fight for your rights. No matter what happens, you would defiantly not get disappointed by hiring a divorce solicitor from Milton Keynes. Apart from Divorce solicitors Milton Keynes, you can also find divorce solicitor Chesham, divorce solicitor Berkhamsted, divorce solicitor St. Albans and divorce solicitor High Wycombe from Breakthrough.

By: Jessica Thomson

About the Author:

Eliminate Phone Bills

You most likely believe a divorce is a long and monotonous affair which involves mess around court rooms and divorce attorney offices throughout the proceedings. The idea of having to go through a divorce is terrible for most people but the procedure itself can be just as fatiguing and taxing both ardently and financially.

Nowadays, it is not compulsory that a divorce has to be long drawn out and tiring. In truth, quick divorces are available on demand. If your relationship has just about crumbled and you want to end things within the fastest possible time frame, going for a quick divorce is the ideal solution. A quick divorce is an ideal solution in terms of affordability. This is because it is an inexpensive method of finding one and also speeds up the process while removing any requirement for your presence in the court. Quick divorce is specifically ideal for couples that do not have children or are mutually agreed on key issues such as division of assets and other properties. For a simplified online uncontested divorce, however, there are some necessities that need to be met in order to be eligible.

Quick divorce criteria:

There has to be joint agreement between couples that the marriage cannot be economized.

The partners should not have any minor children.

Mutual agreement between spouses on how matrimonial property should be splited.

To file for a quick online divorce, one my ask a court clerk for information on documents required and the cutoff dates for form filling as well as the costs that are associated. A lawyer is not really needed for this proceeding but can be approached in case of any legal query that you or your spouse may have. While this process is undoubtedly quick and noticeably less stressful, you may just want to get legal consultation in case, you have any doubts regarding the agreements that you are dealing as a way to protect yourself. Also state laws have to be examined before processing with this type of online divorce. While many online websites provide services of do it yourself kits for online divorce, it would be best to check whether the forms given are in fact valid in your state.

The best place to get a quick divorce is from online paralegal service firms. This is also much inexpensive and quicker than the traditional method of getting divorce. A lawyer is not mandatory in this case and the procedure for divorce is usually concluded in a relatively short spam of time permitting the people involved to move on with their lives, thereby cutting down on any stress or disruption that you may be prone to. This could also help in saving you substantial sums of money that would have otherwise been spent on the lawsuit. However, before choosing for a quick divorce, do take the time out to think whether it is the right step for you.

By: Frank Miller

About the Author:

Auto Parts